Blergggg

OMG, The binger has been back...

I am not proud to say that last night after feeling sick and knowing everything I know and starting beck and actually *realizing* my behaviours, I did what I did last night.

I was feeling sick , so my logic was, my stomachs already upset, might as well enjoy some processed foods (I have been feeling sick by processed crap latley, so I am going all 'eat clean on my ass'), but apparently not last night!

I am at the grocery store, wanted something 'cakey' got the lowest calorie donut thingys I could find and baked lays, ate both , almost all of both things....

Then today it was my going away party in my department. I'm moving to another within the company and we had mexican day, I had tacos, timbits and cake, and a coffee crisp.

Anyways, I'm tracking it and being accountable here and moving on... I don't know what my problem is the past couple days, I've been in one hell of a mood and just don't have the energy to do anything.

Back on track tomorrow!

~Rainy days~

So today started off bad. I woke up feeling like absolute crap again and there was absolutly no way I could go to training, so I didn't go, felt bad about that, but went back to bed to take care of myself. Woke up to go to work still not feeling that well ,but couldn't call in 2 days in a row...

So I have to walk about 10 mins or so from my car and it starts POURING down rain, I'm still a little damp even though I had an umbrella, some clown shoes tried to drown me in a puddle. But anyways, I'm here at work, have one of those glorious stick on heating pads on my back and feeling a bit better.

I have a new fave snack, apple and cheese, it's such a glorious combo platter and fills me up, just thought I would share.

Now today with me feeling down and a bit sorry for myself I am using beck not to use this as an oppurtunity to binge to make myself "feel better". Today's quote "Emotions are not an emergency. I don't have to EAT! I can tolerate this feeling, eating won't SOLVE this problem, it will only make things worse because then I will have 2 problems, my original problem and gaining weight/guilt."

I am going to try and start taking pictures of my foods to post and of my hikes etc.. but I keep forgetting my cam, I would like to have a nice phone that I could just use interchangably, but that's something I want to get on the go, but for now, here is my food for today...

B - Toast with butter, 4 graham crackers
S - Vita muffin, apple with cheese
L - bbq chicken wrap, watermelon
S - hummus, pita, carrots
D - Swiss chalet chicken, salad and corn
S - TBD

Excercise, get in atleast 20 min on treadmill after dinner date tonight.

xo

Sick day

So today I was home sick, I had such terrible cramps and lower back pain today that I had to stay home from work (blerg).

So I was at home, went back to sleep , took some meds, watched ellen (enjoyed daytime tv when I could). Then I was feeling a bit better, so I went to visit my dad and my bro.

Even though I wasn't feeling great, my bro and I decided to go for a hike, so that was great, brought the dog and had a great time. Felt much better after I got in some excercise and was moving around.

Food wise today, I ate a lot of carbs as I feel it makes me feel better...

Toast for breaky, egg noodles and corn, apple and cheese, more egg noodles for dinns and more corn, it was a pretty random food day...

Tomorrow I am off to the trainer bright and early, got my gym bag packed and my lunch packed too!

Don't have my beck book with me, but my brother said something to me today that will be my quote of the day "I eat because I'm upset, I'm upset because I eat".

xo

Advantages of losing weight.

I started the beck diet solution last week. On a whim while at the library taking out recipe books I saw it, I remembered people saying it was pretty good, so I picked it up. I finished reading phase 1 in a couple days and it really is helping with my "self sabotaging" ways with my weight loss.

The book asks you to write down what the advantages of weight loss are for you, here are what mine are:

1) Overall feel better (mind, body, soul)
2) Fit into clothes (i.e fit into clothes that I have that are too tight and into cute clothes in regular sized shops that I cannot fit into right now)
3) Feel sexier, feel comfortable in my own skin and in little to no clothes (i.e bathing suit)
4) Not having medical problems ( I have none right now and want to keep it that way)
5) Having a more fullfilling life and stop using my weight as a hinderance (i.e I can't go rock climbing because of my weight etc..)
6) Overall just have more energy, confidence and feel better about myself.

You are supposed to read your advantages every day as well as other mantras provided in the book....

Today my "quote of the day" from Beck shall be "I'm choosing to say NO CHOICE (to eat anything not planned). If I want to lose weight I have to do what I NEED to do, not what I FEEL like doing".

Other than that, I had a GREAT weekend, I saw a bunch of my girlfriends, went to a movie on Friday, saw night at the mueseum 2 (pretty terrible, but had some laughs with my bestie) and Saturday went shopping in T.O. didn't get much though, felt like nothing would fit! Ces't la vie! Not for long, right? Sunday I went spinning (which felt amazing) and visited my dad and went grocery shopping and got so much good healthy stuff!


Pre-workout snack - banana (100)
Bootcamp workout (40min)
B - Oatmeal with chocolate chips and coconut (200)
S - Watermelon (70), fibre 1 (140)
L - WW wrap with chicken and lettuce (250), Mushroom gardennay soup (90)
20 minute walk on lunch
S - Apple(70), hummus (100),pita bread (90), carrots (30)
Hike with my dad
D - TBD
S - TBD

xo