Fit Day and working out!

Today after my calorie journal got ruined in my lunch bag, my soup leaked grrrrr. I remembered the website I used when I started my weight loss journey (first round of losing) way back when! www.fitday.com, it has a lot of info for cal balance etc.. I found it really helpful back then and I'm finding it really helpful today. I got right into it and took my measurements and everything today.

I am super focused this week... my work out sched looked a little something like this...

Mon 5am - BL bootcamp - 20mins, bike 20 mins, yoga 20min, zumba 1 hr after work
Tues - Bike 30 mins, yoga 25 mins, tues night bike 30mins
Wed - BL bootcamp - 20 mins, bike 20mins, yoga 20mins, dance class 1hr after work
Thurs - Bike 45 mins, DDR 10mins, walk at lunch

I'm super proud of this accomplishment, I am feeling strong and focused and am happy I have a weight loss goal (239lbs by xmas) and I want to think of a fitness goal and then after xmas reset my goal, I would like to be under 200 for my bday in march..

xo

WI !

I took a bit of a hiatus from blogland. I just needed to get my ducks in a row again. My food hasn't been terrible, but not 100 % either. I did however starting last week get back to working out 4 times in a week, so I'm proud of that.

I did "zumbathon" it was basically zumba for as long as you could and your money was donated to United Way, it was such fun! I could have danced all night, but my friend I was with had to leave.

I went to niagara falls on the weekend for my 2 year anniversary with bf, it was wonderful, a few bad food choices, but with all the walking and then we swam laps in the hotel pool both days, it all evened out.

I weighed in and was down 2lbs this morning, it was on the BL wii game I WI and I was still below the yellow line, it needs to be more realistic that we're not actually on the show! Losing 0.79% in one week for a normal situation is pretty darn good!

WI was followed by workout! I did the BL bootcamp DVD (I quite like this and recommend it) then 20 mins on my stationary bike and the BL yoga for weight loss DVD. I also enjoyed this and took a tip from Angela over at Oh she glows and used my little heater to make it "hot yoga"

I'm also going to Zumba tonight, double work out days! I lovvvvve that I'm FINALLY feeling better and can work out etc...

I also have a Christmas goal to be 239, it can and will be done!!! I need to keep focused!!

Eating for a purpose...

My whole life as far as I can remember eating wasn't for the purpose of being full or getting my proper nutrtion in, it was for entertainment, comfort or reasons other that just being "hungry".

This past week and a half I busted out my BL calorie counting journal and started tracking, something I haven't done in a long time. I had a short stint on spark people or did it on here, but theres something about having a small journal in your purse that you can write it down as you're eating it. Anyways, I have cut my calories to about 1500 a day and I've been HUNGRY. So now I am trying to find ways to get the most bang for my caloric buck. I've encorporated lots more fruits, veggies, fibres and proteins... simple right? I just find that now that I'm tracking and not only tracking but looking over the past week it has made me a lot more accountable. Now I (try) to eat atleast 4 servings of fruits/vegs etc..

Now I eat every couple hours and try to stay full with nutrient good for you foods! Tracking works!

In other news I think I mentioned I bought the BL WII game last post.. I really like it! It's quite good, the challenges are a lot of fun and the WI is making me think about what I put in my mouth! I fell below the yellow line last week (ha) luckily I didnt' get eliminated (ha ha), I don't know how that would work... am I not allowed to play my wii game anymore?? BL is on tonight, although this is def not one of my fav seasons of people. I do like Rudy and a couple other people though, but I'm not a fan of Shay or Tracey... thoughts?

Vitalicous giveaway

http://watchmybuttshrink.blogspot.com/

Monday Mornings and WI

Monday morning is here again! I had a terrible sleep last night, I feel like I haven't slept at all actually! But here I am at work :(

I walked into work this morning and it was a little chilly, but a good walk! I realized walking to work this morning and the last little while that I want to take a karate/self defense class because I think it would be really empowering and take some worry off my mind walking into work in the dark! I looked up classes and it seems there is a womens only seminar over at the rec centre near my house, so I will have to call and inquire. I can't exactly do it for a couple more weeks because of my back and stomach, but it's something that I want to look forward to! Have any of you guys taken any karate classes?

I made it to the gym last night, did 40 mins of laps in the pool and then had a steam (ahhhh). It felt great, I was happy to get to the pool and get in some excercise and I think it's helping with my back too. I think I will go after work again today to the pool before the aqua fit classes start tonight.. I was thinking about going to aqua fit tonight, but it's called "intensity plus" and I'm not sure if my body is ready for intensity yet...

I had my WI this morning. I bought the BL WII game last week and today was WI and I gained 3lbs! I couldn't believe it. I have been under my calorie limit this whole week (even though I had a couple treats) and I excercised 4 times. grrrrr so frusterating. Luckily it wasn't an elimination week because I was below the yellow line.... it's a cool game, I'm going to have to start playing it more and figuring out all the features... they actually have challenges and stuff, which is pretty entertaining, to rub salt in the wounds I fell into the pool and failed the challenge this morning too... just not my day I guess.

I hope Monday gets better soon!! xo

Movie Weekend

Well the weekend is almost over! I had a good weekend, I'm finally starting to feel better (thank god). The end of the week I thought was taking a bad turn. My back was on FIRE by Thursday and I went and had a massage appt. I specifically said that I wanted a light massage as I was already soooo sore.... flash forward to her like elbowing my lower back, tweaking something and making me have an even sorer (sp?) back on thursday/friday!

By Friday afternoon, I was feeling better. I went out for lunch at swiss chalet (which was great, I was at one where provided NI pamphlets with the menu), all of the chicken dishes there are really good cals/fat. We met up with friends to go see "Law Abiding Citizen", which I thought was really good... (I may be byist though because I think Gerard Butler is super hot and you get to see his tush lol). I had a small popcorn and brought a long an orange G2 to drink. Saturday I got my hair done, it's a lot shorter now, but I like it and did some shopping. I found an anniversary present for my bf (2 years on Nov 3rd!). Then Saturday night we went to dinner (and another movie). This time we saw "Love Happens" it was okay at best... and that's saying a lot because I usually like terrible girl movies! I got a small popcorn (and orange pop) and had a small cheese pizza at ESM and scraped a lot of the cheese off!

Today we went and saw my dad, stopped by a lovely market and got some home made bread/buns for sammies and cheese curds (bad I know, but so delish)...

I am sad to report I haven't been doing my biking because of my back, I tried yesterday and made it about 1 mile. I did go to the gym swimming though, which felt great, I might actually go this afternoon! Have a relaxing Sunday everybody! xo

Biggest loser and leftovers

Today I had a half day of work, it went by superfast! I got done work and had to go to the ultrasound! The ultrasound was ... uncomfortable! It was better than the first one, but it still made me sore! I had planned on going out for lunch afterwards with my bf because I wasn't allowed to eat since the night before, but I was so sore and tired that we just came home! I ended up having a quite delightful lunch. We had left over turkey sandwiches and a little bit of the low fat apple crisp I had left over! The apple crisp that I made for thanksgiving actually turned out really good. The recipe was really simple too and no one knew it was low fat!

Mix sugar and cinnimon (enough to coat the apples) and then topping was just quick cook oats, cinnimon a bit of brown sugar and 1/4 cup of apple sauce. Spread over apples and cook for 55 mins on 350! So yummmmy! I should have taken pictures, I always forget! I will have to start making it a habit!

Tonight we had leftover turkey againnnn with fresh mashed potatoes and broccoli. I had some bbq popchips today as a snack!

In big fun workout news.... I got the biggest loser wii game! It seems to be really fun! I'm playing as Michelle on the pink team! You have weigh ins and eliminations and challenges! I did my first challenge today and it has all kinds of tips etc.. too! I haven't explored it fully yet, but so far , so good! I will keep you posted, I am on the 12 week program!

In other work out news I got my 5 miles done on the bike today, even though I was soo tired today! It's so nice having a bike in the living room! I lurrrvvveee it !

Night all! I'm off to finish watching the biggest loser! Does anyone else think Tracey is going home tonight if blue falls below the yellow line??? That lady has crazy eyes! xo

Thanksgiving!

So today is the actual day of Thanksgiving! I am going to the "inlaws" for dinner! It should be pretty healthy as they usually do the clean eating thing!

Today I started a new goal I had for myself, to do atleast 5 miles on my new excercise bike a day! I am happy to report that I did 5 miles while watching reg and kelly today! It felt good, my legs arn't as strong as they used to be as I've been laid up for a month. I'm still really tired and sore. I actually have a follow up ultrasound tomorrow to make sure everythings A-OKAY, which I am not looking forward to. The last ultrasound I had I was in tears because it was so painful! Why must they push down so hard and re-do it like a million time! I felt like it was TORTURE! I'm hoping that now my gallstones and gallbladder for that matter is gone, that it won't be as bad! I'm also hoping I start to feel 100% again! I hate being tired all the time! I want to go back to dance class and socialize while getting a work out!

Food has been okay, I feel that I don't eat as much now, so it's less time consuming thinking about food all the time. I used to think about food ALL the time, what am I going to eat next, when, what am I going to eat later. I looked forward to food way too much. I love food way too much. I still have struggles, but I don't want to be sick again, so this is the new way I have to go about it, which is great! I would love to lose another 10lbs by the beginning of November.

Thanksgiving today, so I thought I would say what I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful for my boyfriend, he is so wonderful and sweet and caring. I don't know what I would have done without him if he wasn't here after my surgery.

I'm thankful for my dad, he is the best dad anyone could ever ask for. I don't know what I would do without him.

I'm also thankful for my friends and family, who are a great support system and lovely.

I hope everyone has or has had a wonderful thanksgiving! xo

Getting caught up

So this week the theme was getting caught up... I was back to work after 3 weeks off and it was EXHAUSTING! I got back into the swing of things at work and got to socialize after 3 weeks of pretty much bf and I holed up in the apt together. Luckily I got to work half days as I am still really sore and exhausted! I seem to have every side effect that came along with this surgery! My back is on FIRE! Seriously, so uncomfortable! But in other news I've almost broke another "weight decade", which is exciting! I'm also almost at my 5%! Bf said how much he's noticed that I've lost weight, he said my ghetto booty is getting smaller and my face has really thinned out!

In other news I bought a (used) excercise bike today for $100.00 off kijiji and I love it! I came home and was on it while watching tv, I think it's going to be so great for me! I can wake up and just get to it! I will of course start working out / going to the gym more once I'm up to it, but for now a little bit here and there on the bike will be awesome!

Product reviews! I tried bbq popchips and lurrrvvvvveeeddd them! I also tried the shoppers organic rice cakes that were chocolate covered. I thought these would be a good low cal, low fat treat, but they were really bland! I couldn't even taste the chocolate! Oh well 1 out of 2 ain't bad! I am continuing on a hunt of low fat/cal snacks with natural/organic ingridients and will report back!

I bought laughing cow cheese today (yet to try it), looking forward to it though. I couldn't have cheese/milk products for a while, so I'm slowly trying to reintroduce it. I also bought the silhoutte zero plus strawberry/lychee and raspberry/dragon fruit yogurts! I will review both after consumed!

Have a happy thanksgiving weekend everyone! Enjoy your turkey and piesssss lol. j/k I'm making a low fat apple crumble ;)

Spaghetti Squash and Surgery

Hi All!

It's been about a month since my last post and a lot has happened. I had my surgery on September 11th to have my gallbladder removed. It was painful, but successful.. I have never been so scared in my life! I never want to have to go back to the hospital again! I have a new lease on healthy living. I have found a lot of different healthy things to eat.

I finally tried spaghetti squash, after first hearing about it on S2 on Biggest loser and seeing it in the cookbook and all over blogland, I tried it! I also really liked it, I made it with a garlic pasta sauce w/mushrooms and endamame. I think it would have been better with a thicker sauce with ground chicken, but i worked with what I had. The consistency was really close to pasta and wayyy healthier!

Endamame was also tried this week, I had it in my stir fry the other night and now tonight in pasta sauce, it is quite good, really high in fibre and protein, it's definatly good to have in the freezer to throw in. I bought the new frozen bags from Zehrs, they also had a really good asian veggie mix, which was awesome in the stir fry.

Popchips were also tried, I quite enjoy the plain pop chips. I didn't care for the barbeque and I haven't tried any of the other ones, I saw that they released more flavours recently! Do you guys have any favourites?

Anyways, I've lost 10lbs and am ready to rock the blog again!

Giveaway

I heart cosmetics is having an awesome giveaway on her blog - http://macalicious-iheartcosmetics.blogspot.com/2009/08/giveaway.html - Check it out!

On track

I am so on track this week. I signed up for "mytrainerbob.com", which is bob harpers website, so I've been logging all my food there. What I like about the food journal is that you can just log calories, other sites you have to know all of the food components (which is good) but hard when you're at work and trying to track etc... but anyways, it's a super fun site and he usually has "challenges", food/activity/psychology challenges, which are fun. Next time he posts one (I think he's on vacation right now cause there hasnt been any) I will post it, so we can all partake!

I also decided I need to FACE THE SCALE . I need to stop not weighing myself. It's not that I'm gaining, it was that I was staying the same or getting 0. - something weight loss and it FRUSTERATES ME!

Excercise has just been walking as I've had a sore stomach and fever for the past couple days, which sucks! I seem to be getting the worse end of the stick for gallbladder symptoms!

Have any of you have to have your gallbladder out? Does it get any better???

Contest

Oh and check out the contest over at http://www.priorfatgirl.com/, it's a really sweet contest and her blog is really inspiring!

Case of the Mondays'

Last night I was optimistic that this week would be better than last, but apparently I was wrong.

To give you a quick recap of last week, my dog, my sweet lovely dog that I've had since I was 7 passed away. I am heartbroken, she was more than a dog to me, I would have done anything for her. It makes me so sad and brings up past feelings of lost. I unfortunatly have dealt with a lot of loss in my life. That happened, plus I've been feeling really sick, I have to go for surgery in September and the symptoms keep on coming. I now get fevers and nausea.

Fast forward to today, I wake up in the morning hop out of bed, the towel rack breaks, the water in my shower is cold, I'm 5 minutes late for work. Then I get to work to discover that no one did the pending work I had for Friday (I get every other friday off) and even though I did everyones work for Thursday and do double the work for the past week and a half because someone is on holidays. I was so mad. I haven't even been able to start anything new because I'm still working through this hellish mess.

I've been eating well, trying to not irritate my stomach. I haven't been getting enough excercise in though because I've been so tired/fevered etc.. I'm trying to go to Zumba tonight with one of my best friends, although I feel like ass now, so I hope in 2 hrs some miracle happens and I can go!

Menu-

B - Cornflakes w/ almond milk
S - Banana
L - Turkey sandwich w/watermelon
S - ?
D - left over turkey pot pie w/potatoes and asparagus
A - Hopefully zumba + walking

Thats all for today! Hopefully I will be more cheerful and less ragey tomorrow lol. xo

Go Big or Go Home?

I have a really bad all or nothing attitude! When it's all it's fantastic, I go to the gym almost everyday , sometimes twice a day and am very on track with food. I was a gym rat and want to be one again. I was at the gym last night and I realized that I *gasp* like working out. I missed it, so it's something I'm definatly going to do a lot more. I just need to regulate it, so I don't burn out and stop going all together, that is the key. My food has been pretty good, getting better. I'm finding the things that don't irritate my stomach, which is good and I re-found a love.. cornflakes. I feel like I'm a cornflakes commercial today between this post and on the boards LOL. I got them last night as my oatmeal has been making me feel sick and I had them with a bit of almond milk this morning and it was sooooo good! My food has been awesome today, if I do say so myself. I'm also hoping bf is less lazy tonight and will go out walking or tennis with me after we go get groceries!

Menu:

B - Cornflakes w/ almond milk
S - Vita muffin
L - Chicken sandwich, watermelon, apple
S - Almonds
D - Corn on the cobb and chicken
S - TBD , probs 100 cal popcorn

A - Some form of cardio whether outside (if humidity isn't a killer) or at gym.

Stress

I was so stressed out today. I messed up something at work, it was very minimal, but I am a worrier! I was also worried because I had a follow up appt with my dr after work! I hate the dr! I found out what was wrong with me, I have to have surgery, so I have that booked. I also have to go get a catscan, so I'm not looking forward to that. My surgeon is a huge d-bag too, but I heard that most surgeons are??

As for food it has been pretty good, I've had a couple homemade healthy cookies, but other than that it's been pretty on track.

As for excercise it's been a lot of walking/hiking, so that's good.

I'm going to get up and start doing 30 day shred again tomorrow morning! I'm also going to try and get to spin tomorrow too!

How do you guys deal with stress?? I usually eat, but that's no longer an option!

Goals?

I've read a lot about goal setting lately, blogs, articles, books etc.. I have thought about this and have thought of what I want my goals to be:

Long term - I want to weigh 178lbs by May 7th 2010 - I know this is a lofty, but doable goal. I am in a bridal party in Mexico and want to be comfortable in a bathing suit. This means I have to lose 80lbs, which is 2lbs /week for 40 weeks. I watched X-Weighted last night and there were a pair of sisters on there that lost 50 in 6 months and I think I can do this.

Long term Fitness goal - I want to run in a 10K by next June, which means I will be fitting some 5K in my short term goals, I also want to rock climb. I want to start indoor next May after I get back from my vacation and then possibly by the end of summer, early fall do a small rock climb outdoors.

Short term weight related goal I want to be in the 230's - 240's by the end of August. The ideal would be me losing 10 - 15lbs in the month of august. I have WI on Thursday, so hopefully it will put a dent in that.

Short term fitness goal - Work out atleast 3X/wk for weights, 2X/wk Yoga, all the time walking, cardio, hopefully starting up the couch to 5 k program again.

What are your goals? Long or short term or both?!

Recently I've had some health issues and it's made me realize how much I don't want my weight to become an issue. All this years it's been easy (well not easy to carry around or be comfortable), but I have been lucky enough not to have health issues. Now that I have or am going through it, it's made me really conscious of what I'm putting into my body. It's also made me realize that we need to excercise, whether it just be going for walks for our bodies/our hearts.

I really liked the quote on my BL day calender today it is " It's important to accept where you are today. If you appreciate each point in your journey, you'll harness the positive energy it takes to achieve your goal weight" - BL success secrets.

Do you appreciate your weight loss journey or is just a race to the finish line ?

Menu/activity today

B- Bread w/ organic strawberry jam
S - Vita muffin , 10 almonds
L - Tuna sandwich, Salad , Apple sauce
S - Watermelon, Strawberries,
D - Chicken cream of mushroom casserole
S - Apple juice, 100 cal popcorn

A - Walking to and from work, walk on lunch, 30 day shred at home later.

xo

Monday mornings

Well it's Monday morning, the weather is still blah and it's starting to really annoy me! Why can't we have some nice summer weather! Don't us Canadians deserve it after the hellish winters mother nature puts us through??? I mean COME ONNNNN.

This weeked was good, I didn't do a whole lot, but I got out shopping with my friend and went on a double date to see the Ugly truth, which was okay, it was really crude though, it seemed as though the jokes were made for 14 year old boys! But Gerard is delish to look at, so it wasn't all bad, haha.

I had a good weight wise weekend, my only treat was a home made pizza, which was made with all kinds of veggies and chicken, so it wasn't that bad. I also went to the movies without buying snacks! This is a big step for me, as I LOVE movie popcorn, but I looked up the NI and it was like 30 grams of fat for a small, so I just couldn't do it. Instead I packed a G2 Orange gatorade, which is only 60 cals for the whole thing and I was actually satisfied. The past couple weeks I've actually been *listening* to my body and no longer just feeding it because I want, but now it's because I need it! I honestly don't get cravings like I used to, which has been great. And other than being sick and my stomach acting up a bit, I feel great.

Yesterday I went to an 1hr Yoga class at the gym after doing the eliptical and I was sweating buckets, but I did it. It's weird to get out of Yoga and then back into it, It's SO SO much harder. I guess that goes for everything, but it felt great after it was done and I followed that up with a swim and a steam.

Yesterdays menu was :
B - Vita muffin
A - Eliptical, Yoga, Swim
L - Naan bread w/hummus , vegetable soup
S - Vita muffin top, graham crackers
D - Chicken sandwich
S - Organic animal cookies, rice pudding, apple juice

Today's menu is:
B - Organic oatmeal w/flax
S - Vita muffin top
L - Chicken sandwich, salad, carrot sticks
S - Watermelon, apple , apple sauce
D - Turkey breast , mini potatoes, asparagus, mushrooms
S - 100 cal popcorn

A- BL bootcamp, walking. Perhaps Zumba if I feel good enough after work!

xo

Weekend

The last 2 weeks I have been on track. I got sick and am now taking care of myself! I lost 3.5lbs this week, which I'm very happy about. My food has been great. I'm not as hungry and don't have cravings like I did before. My bf for the most part has been supportive of the new low fat diet, but he ordered pizza the other day, got chocolate bars etc.. so that is kinda annoying as he's trying to lose weight as well! I've also been working out. Doing every other day BL bootcamp and then walks everyday for cardio.

Heres what my menu looks like for today;

Bootcamp - A
Organic cinnimon oatmeal w/ 1tsp flax and banana - B
Walk - A
Mushroom soup, naan bread w/hummus - L
Homemade healthy pizza w/ chicken, asparagus, mushrooms - D
Snacks - TBD

Hump day

Today is hump day, I'm so happy that it is Wednesday as tomorrow is my "Friday", I have the real one off! I'm going to try and tackle the warehouse lulu lemon sale in Hamilton (it's at the convention centre if any of you fellow bloggers were looking to go). I'm feeling a bit better today, my stomach is still a bit painful, but I'm keeping positive! I went grocery shopping last night and got all healthy stuff and had a list of things that would help with my stomach, so I picked that up!

It is really ironic that if I had of just ate this way and kept the weight off and excercised regularly that this wouldn't have happened, I mean it could still have, but I definatly gave it a boost with all the crap I have consumed the past couple months! However that is behind me now and I'm on track, like REALLY on track. 1) I have no choice, I will make myself sicker if I eat crap 2) Now that I have been off processed crap for over a week, I no longer crave it and I'm A LOT less hungry througout the day. I was such a grazer and snacker and it made me eat more than I needed!

I really have started to believe that food is fuel, we are what we eat blah, blah, blah whatever cliche you want. But it's TRUE! You eat well , you feel GOOD!

I totally planned on photographing my meals today, but my camera on my camera phone makes this noise that I can't turn off and I'm in a quiet office... so I will try and figure that out and maybe tomorrow I will paparatzi my food!

Menu today:

B - Organic cinnimon oatmeal with 1tbsp of organic golden flax seed
S - Apple, Apple Juice
L - Salad with romaine/spinach with cukes, chick peas and olive oil dressing & chicken noodle soup
S - Watermelon
D - Chicken, asparagus, mushrooms with red sauce over angel hair pasta
S - Low cal strawberry jello, possilby 100 cal pack of FF popcorn!

A - Walk to and from work, walk at lunch and hopefully yoga after work!

Back to work

So today I am back to work. I took yesterday off because I felt sick and had to go to the drs again, I found out what was wrong with me and now I have to wait for surgery, so I'm feeling anxious as I hate the Dr and even more so hate the hospital, but I just want this fixed. They say they're so back logged that it could take months. blah.

On the brightside (if there is one) I've been eating well and excercising. Yesterday I did a 8K walk. This morning before work I did 20 mins of Jillains new boost your metabolism dvd.

On the menu today...

B - Organic cinnimon oatmeal
S - Apple juice, banana
L - Pasta with a bit of cheese, watermelon
S - Apple , a few almonds
D - Chicken, vegs
S - light strawberry jello

A - 20 min jilly in morning, walk on lunch, walk after work, walk to and from work.

Sick

So last night I went to a birthday party full of alcohol, cake, chips etc.. and I didn't have one chip! I would like to say it was all due to self control, but mostly it was because I didn't want to make myself sicker! It was a pretty good feeling afterwards knowing that I can make it through a party and have a good time without having any of the crap! The party was fun, then at about 11:30 when everyone was heading downtown I had to go home with bf because I was feeling so sick. I was lucky I lived down the street as I was hobbling along with an extremely sore stomach and nausea.

I am not enjoying being sick, it sucks. But after all is said and done and it's gone in 2 or so weeks, I think that I will have benefited because I was on a downward spiral of not caring for myself. I have forced myself to go out for walks the past 2 days even though I was feeling sick because it's gooooood for me. I haven't' been eating much but making good choices because it's'goooood for me. I am ready "are you ready" by bob harper and it says to start treating your body like a temple... which I really needed to start doing!

Today I've ate :

B - Toast , apple

L - piece of naan bread , graham crackers

D - 1/2 piece of chicken, mashed potatoes

Activity - walking

Bad blogger

I have been terrible for blogging. I am a blog creeper, I read everyone elses, but haven't been blogging myself.

I have had a busy past couple of weeks, I changed jobs, trying to get used to that. I was on holidays (went to a cottage for a week, horrible weather, but still had fun) then I moved in with my bf ! A huge step. Food was bad up until after we moved in together. I guess I saw it as not having control over being able to binge eat after we live together, not wanting to do that in front of my bf. I am a closet eater / food hider, whatever you want to call it! But anyways, after all of that stressfullness was out of the way, I was ready to get back into the swing of things!

I now have stomach problems, they think it might be an ulcer, but who knows. So I really have to watch my food extra carefully. Very bland foods, breads, gingerale etc... I haven't been eating a whole lot.

Last week I lost 1.2lbs weighed in on Thursday morning! Not a whole lot, but I think it will be more next week seeing as I'm not eating a whole lot and I got out for a walk today!

I will be posting more, I promise... I know it must seem like an empty promise seeing as I believe I said this last post, but I will be! I also need to figure out an inconspicuous way to take pictures at my desk at lunch!

xo

What a novel idea!

I know I haven't been posting this week, I've had a hectic week at work. I started in a new dept and I'm also working longer days in order to bank time to have every other friday off! Anyways, this week has sucked my food and excercise has sucked. I hurt my neck and it's been sore all week! I'm going to a sports massage therapy appt tomorrow and hopefully that will do the trick! I've also got hikes planned with the bf for the weekend, so that will be good!

This lady at work, she took over my desk and has lost 50lbs, she told me she limited her cals to 1,400 - 1,600 a day and only walks for 20mins per day. First off I'm thinking 20 mins per day of WALKING?? I do that just to and from my car on any given day going to work and that many calories? And she's lost that much??

So I started thinking about my progress, how I haven't had any really... I am too one side of the "scale" or the other. So my new thing is going to be just ATLEAST 20 mins of excercise / per day (prob be more) and eat 1,400 cals during the week and 1,600 on weekends, which is totally reasonable!

My beck thing hasn't been great, I'm going to re-read it this weekend and really get FOCUSED. I'm also planning out all my meals for next week and sunday and not going to stray. It's going to be very "eat clean". I've had some stomach issues as of late and I think it might be due to processed foods!

Will post again soon ,

xo

Monday Mornings!

Monday mornings ughhhh haha. I feel sooo tired today! I feel like I didn't sleep at all, I was half awake for what felt like most of the night. I started a new job today (new department within the same company) and I was anxious, plus I don't sleep as well when bf is here, I know that's terrible to say but we've been in a long distance relationship and I'm not used to him being in the bed! We're moving in together, which I'm so ecstatic about in a month and I'm looking forward to getting used to it and sleeping well when he's in bed. Anyways, my new job, I don't really know what to expect. I feel like a lot is being expected of me, I have already been given 2 projects and it's like 10 o'clock! ack! I'm also working longer days to take every other friday off! So we'll see how it goes, I have zumba and pt after that, so I'm not going to be home until like 7:30 pm :(

Other than that, my excercise/weight loss hasn't been as on par as it should be. I went shopping last night and got a bunch of good healthy stuff and semi-organic stuff. I'm trying to be as organic as I can, but it gets hard and expensive! I also started portioning stuff out as soon as I get it home, I got these organic teddy graham cookies and was amazed at how little the 140 calories of them were , once I bagged them up.

Anyways, I'm back on track now and going to get in excercise every day this week and eat well this week as well...

My foods for today looks like this:

B - Organic cinnimon and spice oatmeal (200)
S - Banana (70), organic teddy grahams (140)
L - Wrap with tomato basil turkey and lettuce (150), carrot sticks (30)
S - Apple (70) , Activia Cheese stick (90)
Before work out - nuts 200
Workout: Zumba (1 hr) , p/t (1 hr)
D - Honey garlic chicken (120), Salad (100) , peas? corn? rice? not sure ... TBD

xo

Blergggg

OMG, The binger has been back...

I am not proud to say that last night after feeling sick and knowing everything I know and starting beck and actually *realizing* my behaviours, I did what I did last night.

I was feeling sick , so my logic was, my stomachs already upset, might as well enjoy some processed foods (I have been feeling sick by processed crap latley, so I am going all 'eat clean on my ass'), but apparently not last night!

I am at the grocery store, wanted something 'cakey' got the lowest calorie donut thingys I could find and baked lays, ate both , almost all of both things....

Then today it was my going away party in my department. I'm moving to another within the company and we had mexican day, I had tacos, timbits and cake, and a coffee crisp.

Anyways, I'm tracking it and being accountable here and moving on... I don't know what my problem is the past couple days, I've been in one hell of a mood and just don't have the energy to do anything.

Back on track tomorrow!

~Rainy days~

So today started off bad. I woke up feeling like absolute crap again and there was absolutly no way I could go to training, so I didn't go, felt bad about that, but went back to bed to take care of myself. Woke up to go to work still not feeling that well ,but couldn't call in 2 days in a row...

So I have to walk about 10 mins or so from my car and it starts POURING down rain, I'm still a little damp even though I had an umbrella, some clown shoes tried to drown me in a puddle. But anyways, I'm here at work, have one of those glorious stick on heating pads on my back and feeling a bit better.

I have a new fave snack, apple and cheese, it's such a glorious combo platter and fills me up, just thought I would share.

Now today with me feeling down and a bit sorry for myself I am using beck not to use this as an oppurtunity to binge to make myself "feel better". Today's quote "Emotions are not an emergency. I don't have to EAT! I can tolerate this feeling, eating won't SOLVE this problem, it will only make things worse because then I will have 2 problems, my original problem and gaining weight/guilt."

I am going to try and start taking pictures of my foods to post and of my hikes etc.. but I keep forgetting my cam, I would like to have a nice phone that I could just use interchangably, but that's something I want to get on the go, but for now, here is my food for today...

B - Toast with butter, 4 graham crackers
S - Vita muffin, apple with cheese
L - bbq chicken wrap, watermelon
S - hummus, pita, carrots
D - Swiss chalet chicken, salad and corn
S - TBD

Excercise, get in atleast 20 min on treadmill after dinner date tonight.

xo

Sick day

So today I was home sick, I had such terrible cramps and lower back pain today that I had to stay home from work (blerg).

So I was at home, went back to sleep , took some meds, watched ellen (enjoyed daytime tv when I could). Then I was feeling a bit better, so I went to visit my dad and my bro.

Even though I wasn't feeling great, my bro and I decided to go for a hike, so that was great, brought the dog and had a great time. Felt much better after I got in some excercise and was moving around.

Food wise today, I ate a lot of carbs as I feel it makes me feel better...

Toast for breaky, egg noodles and corn, apple and cheese, more egg noodles for dinns and more corn, it was a pretty random food day...

Tomorrow I am off to the trainer bright and early, got my gym bag packed and my lunch packed too!

Don't have my beck book with me, but my brother said something to me today that will be my quote of the day "I eat because I'm upset, I'm upset because I eat".

xo

Advantages of losing weight.

I started the beck diet solution last week. On a whim while at the library taking out recipe books I saw it, I remembered people saying it was pretty good, so I picked it up. I finished reading phase 1 in a couple days and it really is helping with my "self sabotaging" ways with my weight loss.

The book asks you to write down what the advantages of weight loss are for you, here are what mine are:

1) Overall feel better (mind, body, soul)
2) Fit into clothes (i.e fit into clothes that I have that are too tight and into cute clothes in regular sized shops that I cannot fit into right now)
3) Feel sexier, feel comfortable in my own skin and in little to no clothes (i.e bathing suit)
4) Not having medical problems ( I have none right now and want to keep it that way)
5) Having a more fullfilling life and stop using my weight as a hinderance (i.e I can't go rock climbing because of my weight etc..)
6) Overall just have more energy, confidence and feel better about myself.

You are supposed to read your advantages every day as well as other mantras provided in the book....

Today my "quote of the day" from Beck shall be "I'm choosing to say NO CHOICE (to eat anything not planned). If I want to lose weight I have to do what I NEED to do, not what I FEEL like doing".

Other than that, I had a GREAT weekend, I saw a bunch of my girlfriends, went to a movie on Friday, saw night at the mueseum 2 (pretty terrible, but had some laughs with my bestie) and Saturday went shopping in T.O. didn't get much though, felt like nothing would fit! Ces't la vie! Not for long, right? Sunday I went spinning (which felt amazing) and visited my dad and went grocery shopping and got so much good healthy stuff!


Pre-workout snack - banana (100)
Bootcamp workout (40min)
B - Oatmeal with chocolate chips and coconut (200)
S - Watermelon (70), fibre 1 (140)
L - WW wrap with chicken and lettuce (250), Mushroom gardennay soup (90)
20 minute walk on lunch
S - Apple(70), hummus (100),pita bread (90), carrots (30)
Hike with my dad
D - TBD
S - TBD

xo

Hump Day!

Today has started off great, I got up earrrrly and went to the gym. Had my personal trainer and had a really great work out! I feel awesome! Had a bit of a slip up with have tim hortons yesterday, but I've tracked it and moved on.

Today I have planned my food and am going for a hike with my papa bear after work!

Today's menu:

B - Nutella with WW toast = 200
Workout 1 hr, weights and cardio = -700
S - Banana - 70, almonds 100, cantelope 70
L - Turkey sandwich with WW bread - 300 , fibre 1 bar 140, rice pudding 70
S - Apple 70, hummus 100, carrots 30, pita 90
D - Chicken , rice, peas - 350
S - Oreo 100 cal

Total calories = 1,690, total work out calories burned = 700 so far

So I'm thinking this is going to be a long week! I just wish it to be over haha.

I had an interview at work today and I think it went really well!

I didn't get out for a really long walk today as per it's raining, but I'm going to dance class after work.

I had a moment of weakness today and ate some timbits like 10, it was ridiculous and I don't know what was going through my head, like 800 calories later. Blerggg.

Anyways, todays menu, so far:

B - Toast with nutella - 200
S - Rice pudding (70), vita muffin (100)
L - Turkey sandwich with WW bread - 250, all bran bites (100)
S - 10 timbits (700) , tea biscuit (200)
D - Chicken, peas, rice (350)
S - 100 cal oreo (100)

Total 2070, activities dance (600) , walking (150)

2070 -1970 (BMR) - 600 - 150 = calorie deficit = 650

Manic Mondays

So it's Monday, the weekend has come and gone too quickly!! I tried to make healthy choices this weekend, we went out to eat A LOT because it was bf's bday... I picked a lot of chicken etc.. but I still could have done better! I got in Zumba on Friday though and walked for hours on Saturday in T.O. Today it's Monday and I'm going to start putting all my food/activities on here!
My new 'weigh in' day is Tuesday, which I'm going to be awesome! I'm super pumped about it, because I'm doing it with my buddy on the boards!

Today's menu/activities!

B - Oatmeal (170) , banana (100)
S - SF jello rice pudding (70) , activia cheese (90), vita muffin (100)
L - Turkey sandwich on WW bread with lettuce and cheese (250)
S - Hummus and carrots and pita bread (220) , apple (70)
D - Pita pizza (350)
S - Oreo ice cream (100) , popcorn (100)

= 1620 calories
40 min walk, bike ride, 20 mins weights

TGIF!

Oh sweet Friday, every week I think I won't make it, but here you are in your gloriousness!!

I'm so happy it's Friday, I've had another debbie downer week, but I'm feeling pretty good today. I have been pretty good with my food this week, nothing crappy ate, but I didn't track or control my portions as much as I should have, but meh.

I also didn't really work out, I went for walks, but I'm more intense normally. I didn't go to kickboxing or anything this week. I am going to Zumba tonight and a weights class tomorrow and for a hike on sunday, so maybe the last 3 days of the week, I'm picking up my slack. 3 days a week is still pretty respectable, even though I'd like for it to be 5.

The last couple days I've been talking to a new girl on the boards, shouts out on my blog and I think it's really going to help making each other accountable. I am excited about it and I'm just overall happy that I have that weight loss board because it does get me through the tough times! Thank you ladies!!

This week has been stressful for different reasons, but I'm optimistic that after next week or so, it will be better. I am currently trying to get another job (within the same company), I have an interview next week, that I am kinda nervy about (in general I hate interviews), I'm also looking for a place for bf and I to live and it's been stressful because I'm the one doing it as he is away at school still and he doesn't want to move out until august 1st as he's still going to have his other place and all the places for rent are June 1st, so it's been trying to say the least!

Anyways, the weekend is here (well in 6 hours, but whos counting) and I'm excited for that, I'm going to zumba tonight with one of my best friends and then off to T.O tomorrow!

TGIF!

Friday, Friday, Friday! I never thought you would get here. This week started off rocky. Then Wednesday came around and after I had a good chat with my trainer, it started to get better. I have made time for myself and have been treating myself and my body well. Last night instead of getting into this huge discussion with my aunt about my uncle and the divorce, I came home from work, changed and went for a long walk along the trails at my favourite park. I then went to my weight loss meeting and had my first WI. It wasn't pretty, but a good starting point. A lot of the ladies at my meeting were older, but sweet. I might try out some different ones before settling down though.


I've also decided I'm going to start writing down my food and activities here.

So here it goes.

Before work out snack - banana (100)
Workout - 1 hr weights/cardio with trainer, 20 mins eliptical afterwards (burned 700)
"Breakfast" - Protein shake (350) , Vita muffin (100)
Snack - Activia Cheese (90), FF Jello pudding (70)
Lunch - Pita (400)
S - Apple (70), almonds (100)
D - Home made pizza (500)
S - FF popcorn (100 cal pack)

Total 1880, so far excercise total 700 , which equals 800 calorie deficit for today.

Sunny days!

So yesterday I got back on the excercise wagon. I had a personal training sesh that nearly killed me... I had a good chat with her though about everything that's been going on and how to cope. She said that because I am an emotional eater that I should combat this with excercise to even it out, which is true. She said that I have to start taking time for ME and get out of the toxic household that I'm in! SO I think I might going to night classes at the gym, even though I prefer going before work, just to get out of the house at night. Yes, my house is that lame that I would rather be at the gym than home haha.

I start a weight loss group tonight, I'm kinda nervy about going. Not sure what to expect, but I think it would be good for me. Plus I get weighed in weekly, which is something I need. I think it will be good because it focuses on emotional eating and dealing with it, which is something I need!

My bf is coming down tomorrow, which I'm looking forward to. I will be so happy when he moves back, long distance is balls.

Easter!

So Easter weekend wasn't as good as it should have been, I went to visit my bf and we ate out a lot. Last night I got home and once again I had to deal with everything at my house, the events of the weekend etc.. My aunt confronted me about being upset and saying that I haven't been eating that great which was true.

I have been having a really bad couple of weeks, at home, at work and it's just been overall crappy. I also miss my mother dearly who I'm coming up to the 9 year anniversary of her passing away :(

BUT after another bad night last night, I decided that I am done wallowing and I'm going to go for what I want to be more fit and have more energy! I love working out and going to classes and I love eating well. I actually don't even like most junk foods anymore, it's more psychological because I think that by eating it, it will help me emotionally, which is a severely skewed vision.

I'm back on track today, back to kicking ass at the gym and kickboxing tonight!!

Downward spiral

I don't know what is up with me lately. I keep thinking weight loss is what I want and what I dream of and I keep coming up short. I have been excercising, but with my food I've been bad and I don't even know why because I hate the way crappy food makes me feel sick. It's like I've been needing to fill some sort of void. Yes, I am an emotional eater. My aunt and uncle , my adopted parents for all intents and purposes are going through a very messy divorce and it's been affecting me a lot. I also go screwed over for a job at work because the other candidate was friends with the supervisor and I felt totally set up. Anywayssss I know food isn't the answer, but lately apparently it has been.

I know this has gotta turn around because I want to be comfortable for summer and not unhappy and overweight!

I think I might start tracking everything for my next day and then check it off, instead of allowing myself variables and getting in atleast 30mins of excercise per day.

Summer

All winter I have had the winter 'blahs'. I have had excuse after excuse after EXCUSE as to why I didn't go to the gym, why it was okay to eat treats, but after my shopping excursion last night I am at my breaking point.

I had to start shopping at additional elle again, something I vowed to myself I never would do again after I lost the weight before and here I was shopping at this store and in a bigger size than I have been in like 4 years! Apparently all my weight has distributed itself to my bottom half this time as I'm still the same size on top , but have gone up 2-3 pant sizes..

So I'm going to Miami, so I had to buy some summer clothes and I did, but I vow to never be this size again. I am embarassed that I'm this size.

I don't understand how I didn't notice this rapid increase!

I am happy that this isn't real summer yet and I have to stop post-poning my start date to 'next monday' the monday that never comes and just do it once and for all for MYSELF.

I have started excercising again and I'm going to slowly decrease my caloric intake to be still healthy, but create a calorie deficit for weight loss.

I went to a personal trainer this morning, my food has so far been good... I'm usually good until I get home, but that's gotta change. No more late night snacking!